#but hopefully slow because I just want the last month of summer to be so long and slow and meander for a while letting me enjoy it 😩

[trailandkale]

maybe if I run enough all my problems will disappear and everything will be okay

august miles here I come look out it’s gonna be a busy month

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” 

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 

“Right, sounds good.” 

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

[pianistbynight]

days 1-7 of a slow but meaningful summer

this is really the only part of traumerei that i can play sort of fluently...sort of, because you can still hear some hesitation as i try to remember the right notes 😅

thursday | 08/08/24

Started Leviathan Wakes

Tested out of U1 in Japanese and started U2 (loving its similarities to French cuz more familiarity = faster learning curve hopefully?🤞🏻)

Practiced piano...some old scales to warm up + the Clementi sonatina (coming back to it after a 2-3 day break was a good idea! somehow my steadiness has improved! also coming to appreciate metronome practice. sight-reading for the day = a few new bars on the 2nd page) + playing around with Kinderszenen (at this point I just wanted to hear different sounds and it wasn't very productive practice)

Read more of the HSP book

Most likely will have to revise my goals bc I don't think I can make decent progress in all the songs I wanted to in 4 weeks...like, to bring 1 L7 song to performance level after years of not performing anything + without a teacher will probably take longer than it used to. Not sure exactly what that looks like yet other than that it's definitely not gonna be all of Kinderszenen... 😂

friday | 08/09/24

practice wasn't very good today...i kept making silly mistakes i didn't used to make. i'm tired. that's why. i also forgot to do my japanese lesson. i didn't feel like reading either. i don't remember what else i did that day.

saturday | 08/10/24

drained of all energy. didn't practice. didn't do japanese. just chilled with @zzzzzestforlife for the most part and started reading what you are looking for is in the library on her recommendation. i love how philosophical japanese fiction is fjsjdkdks ☺️☺️☺️ (and more generally, i'm surprised that for a culture so new to me, a lot of their ways are just...second nature to my personality...it was very relieving. but i also feel that if i were to live in such a place full time, i would be staying too much in my comfort zone...i also don't know that i would want to ever live in Japan since there are also some important aspects about my current home that i'd miss terribly. all this to say, i'd like to visit Japan again at some point in my lifetime.)

sunday | 08/11/24

went to bed feeling very drained, frustrated, and homesick. so as you can imagine, i didn't get very good sleep. my bare minimum goals for today are:

japanese lesson

read zesty's book recs (there's the library book, the secret adversary [which she rec'd back to me after i rec'd it to her a couple months ago lol], and leviathan wakes) ✅

monday | 08/12/24

finally read the last of the clementi sonatina! got it to a "meh" level to polish in the next few days. super excited! played a few other pieces after that but i think i should focus on level 7 pieces for now before jumping into something barely readable but still playable. i should've brought some level 8 sheet music with me too...but i guess i can read from my laptop (god save my eyes if i do that lol 😵)

might put Kinderszenen back on the (mental music) shelf for now.

i also read more of what you are looking for is in the library and i just love how much there is to ponder about what was said. insightful fiction is my favorite fiction 💗

tuesday | 08/13/24

finished What You Are Looking For Is In The Library! it's such a good book. it's a short story collection but each story is in the same universe and while each story is independent (convienient for readers like me who like to take their time with books but sometimes take so much time that they forget what the story was lol), they're connected in ways that...you know that feeling when you bump into an old acquaintance in a completely foreign place you don't expect to meet anyone you know? that feeling is what i felt as i read chapter after chapter. it makes the vast world feel less lonely.

in the evening i tried to memorize and get the clementi sonatina up to speed. i guess i must be succeeding because my dad said it'd make mice dance lol. also played a bit of traumerei...trying to read more of it but progress is slower since i need to pay closer attention to which notes to hold and when to let go of them.

wednesday | 08/14/24

started reading sweet bean paste today (another japanese book... they're quickly becoming my favorite type of book.) i like it so far. there's potential for a lot of warmth and emotion in talking about food, which is just 🥰

also started "Databases: Modeling and Theory" on edx... 🙈 i'm auditing so i only have 2 weeks (until Aug. 28) to access the material (because the minimum amount of time needed to complete the course is 2 weeks gahhh). so i need to be halfway by Aug. 19. in theory i can do this if i put in 2h of work each day. it's too hot to play piano during the day, so i can do databases then and play piano at night. yes, i can do this. (i need to get my brain used to a faster, "left-brained" pace anyway in prep for school in september. 🙁)

continuing to polish the clementi sonatina and started reading this kuhlau sonatina which is pretty fun difficult. it's really just the left hand that makes it suck. haven't figured out how to move so that the staccatos are sharp despite the finger pedaling. i can do it slow, but not fast while staying quiet, so i must be doing something wrong. sometimes you just gotta sit on it, i guess.

[seafoamreadings]

week of july 16th, 2023

aries: not the best news for your sign this week with your ruling planet opposing saturn and the sun squaring the nodes. you'll feel almost certainly held back in some way, or several ways, and slow going is not known to be an aries favorite. just try to relax into it. things speed back up later.

taurus: your ruling planet goes retrograde this week. it can be hard for natural venusians such as yourself, especially during the first and last few days. but it can also be exciting, and you can make it a relaxing self care event if you insist on putting yourself first, which is only right for such an earthly incarnation of aphrodite herself.

gemini: naturally you have an ability, actually a gift, for being able to enjoy small and flirtatious things even in heavy and weird times. actually you can turn chaos into magic, without even trying. it's great, but others will find it grating at this time, so don't be too flamboyant about it until the sun is well into leo (where it ingresses later on this week).

cancerians: this week has a new moon in your sign and then boom, leo season begins. the spotlight is off of you, which will suit many cancerian people who like to be quietly at home, and now your finances get a cool stroke of luck somehow.

leo: while cancer season tends to be relaxing and calm and restorative, the end of this one was a bit tough if not downright harrowing. after the cancer new moon this week, your own leo season begins, and things get both more fun and more glamorous.

virgo: i almost hate to break it to you but this week is either chaotic or painful (or both?) in your close and committed relationships. i say "almost" hate because ultimately the outcome is FREAKISHLY productive/constructive and all in your highest good, and that of your partner or whomever else is included in this construction.

libra: what does venus retrograde in leo bring for you? most likely your aesthetics and partnerships that are already sealed are pretty solid, although if they've been tumultuous they may take the opportunity to disintegrate. what's shifting really is your social scene, the acquaintances around you and your network at large. evaluate the status of these things in your life and mine them for insight.

scorpio: the whole week has a watery and ominous tone. the best advice right now for you is to recede from the limelight. sometimes the sultry air benefits you but for now and the rest of the summer (winter in the southern hemisphere) it functions much better in private.

sagittarius: you may need to go farther out of your way than some others to make sure venus retrograde doesn't get you down. that's ok, do what it takes. try to focus on yourself even when that advice gets to be its most annoying, and as much as possible also work on quietly expanding your mind.

capricorn: your yearly partnership new moon is incoming. you can find a business partner if that's what you really want, or the lustier capricorns ruled more by the god pan find long term lusty companions. or at least they're seeking them. the finding depends on personal factors, but as this moon waxes it's a great time to start looking.

aquarius: for good reason, venus retrograde is associated with love stuff. but for you in particular the focus is on committed relationships - and it doesn't fully let up until october. what partnerships (do or would) bring you pleasure? which are more of a ball and chain? what can be done about it all? start asking now, and hopefully in a couple months your answers are settled.

pisces: there's much to affect you all week so watch the transits closely. in many ways it affects you in muted tones. meanwhile the retrograde of venus does get your daily routines and may have you feeling that the magic has receded from the mundane. in truth it has not, and no one is better at seeing the spirit within the seemingly inanimate than you are.

[nightsky-edits]

✨️ A RETURN ✨️

Hey! Its Wolf! Its been several months since we last spoke and ive decided that i want to restart up this blog! Requests are open once again! However under new circumstances!

During this haitus it has come to my attention that during winter i lose alot of my motivation to run one of these blogs. I get overwhelmed very easily during the winter and early spring months and often just cant complete requests because i dont find as much joy in it as i do during summer and fall. Because of this im now going to open this blog for summer and fall respectively with the new and improved expectation that i will be taking winter haituses regularly. Hopefully this will solve my never ending disappointment at inevitably having to remake every summer when i realize i didnt want to get rid of my old blog.

Im still going to be taking it a little slow so i dont overwork myself too early on so the Pesterquest Sprite limit is now at 3 requests at a time. This is because of two reasons, one, it can be very exhausting to do so many detailed requests too frequently, especially for free and two, i also enjoy doing many different kinds of edits and requests that get very sideswept because pesterquest edits are seen as my main thing. I want to branch out a little bit even if i dont get to many requests that arent pesterquest edits i would still like to have less so i have more time to make other edits on my own time if i wanted to.

To summarize there will be quite a few changes to how i do things around here but im hoping that all in all the changes will help me make more art for yall in the long run! I hope all of you have a wonderful day and thank you for taking the time to listen.

(Also I will probably replace the beginning of the pinned post here soon with a summarized version of this.)

[coraniaid]

Oooh there are so many good prompts, it's hard to choose! I'm gonna go with Fuffy + 13. “You make me feel safe.” :)

Sorry this took so long! To be honest, I'm still not 100% happy with it, but one of the things I was trying to do with these prompts was let myself write quick and short stand-alones without worrying too much about editing them afterwards and it's already been over three weeks. Hopefully it works okay as it is.

This is an almost canon-compliant S7, except that Faith got broken out of prison and came to Sunnydale a few months earlier than she did in canon.

Faith remembers the first night she ever came to Buffy’s house.

She’d only been in Sunnydale for a couple of days.  Hadn’t had a decent meal since getting off the coach.  Or for a couple of weeks before getting on the coach, come to think of it.  And, yeah, maybe Buffy’s invitation had seemed a little stiff, a little bit unenthusiastic - maybe she'd got the sense, even then, that Buffy didn't exactly want her around - but she’d still figured it was worth it. Where was the harm in checking out how the other Slayer lived, with a free meal along the way?

She’d already known Buffy had things easier than she did, but she hadn’t really been ready for just how much she had. For just how rich her life was.  She remembers looking around the living room before they ate, thinking how big it was – how full of furniture and art and books and framed photos of Buffy and her family – how much smaller and emptier it made the shitty little motel she was sleeping in feel.  She remembers sitting opposite Buffy at a huge table, trying to play it cool, while Buffy’s mom kept bringing in bowl after bowl of food from out of the kitchen.  She remembers the way Joyce had asked Faith questions while she ate, had seemed interested in her answers in a way Faith doesn’t think most people ever were. In a way nobody had treated Faith before Diana. And she remembers the way Buffy’s kid sister had looked at her while they all ate: like she was the coolest person she’d ever met, maybe the coolest person alive.  A superhero, or something.  

(From what Faith’s been told, this part didn’t happen.  Dawn wasn’t really there. Faith’s not too clear on exactly where she was.  But that’s how she remembers it.)

The part with Buffy’s mom had been real though.  She’s pretty sure of that.  She remembers as well that, weeks later, Joyce had worried about Faith spending the holidays alone and gotten Buffy to invite her over for Christmas.  Joyce had always looked out for her.  Always cared about her.  Now Joyce is dead, and practically the last memory of her Faith has is of holding a knife to her throat and promising to kill her.  Just one more evil fucked-up thing she’s done that she’s never going to be able to make right.   

Truth is that she’d been kind of awestruck back then, and not just by the house.  Not just by Buffy’s family.  By all of it.  By Buffy’s whole life.  She’d even let.herself think that maybe she had a place here.  Somewhere safe.  Somewhere she belonged, with someone who might …  well, whatever.  She always had been a little slow.  Buffy had made it clear where they really stood soon enough.  That there were parts of her life Faith would be tolerated in, if not exactly welcomed, and other parts that were pretty much permanently off limits. 

Four years later, the place doesn’t seem quite so big.

These days the Summers’ house has to hold a lot more people than just three. Not just Buffy and her sister, but Willow, Xander and Anya too, plus an ever-growing small army of Potential Slayers.  And Faith herself, of course.  Somehow she’d made it here after all.  It isn’t quite what she’d expected.  And not just because it's an awful lot more crowded.  

That’s why, when it happens, Faith’s not totally surprised to find Buffy waiting outside the room she’d managed to snag for herself when she first arrived here in the fall.  The other Slayer looks at her a little nervously, like she’s about to break some bad news.  Still, at least Faith knows it can’t be too terrible.  She’s just got back from a late night patrol, and everyone who should be alive in here still is. For now.

“Willow and I have been talking, and … um,” Buffy hesitates. "Do you mind if I sleep in here tonight?"

What Buffy manages not to say – as if everyone in the house didn’t know – is that Red and Kennedy have been getting real serious lately, and not exactly shy about expressing their affections either.  They weren't exactly keeping their hands to themselves. So unless Buffy had gotten a lot more relaxed about some things in the last three years – which Faith kind of doubts, whatever that Spike guy says – she could hardly keep sharing her old room with Willow the way she’s been doing since Faith arrived.

Faith rather likes Kennedy, all things considered.  She’s got a bit of an attitude on her, sure, and she goes out of her way to get in Buffy’s face a lot more often than she should, but then, Faith would have to be awfully hypocritical to get mad at somebody else for doing any of that.  Besides, you need an attitude if you’re going to make it as a Slayer.  Need some sort of edge.  You need a bit of backbone and self-confidence, just as much as you need the actual superpowers, if you’re planning to live for long.  So Kennedy’s all right, as far as Faith’s concerned.   

That’s why she reminds herself not to be too mad at the Potential for costing her a comfortable bed at training tomorrow morning.  Tells herself she won’t spend too much time thinking up more painful drills tonight.  Or at least that she won’t actually make Kennedy do many of them.

"No problem, B," she says now with a casual shrug. "I guess I'll see if there's a spare cot in the basement."

Oddly, that doesn’t seem to be the answer Buffy was hoping for.  She frowns, like Faith’s just said something wrong.  

(That’s a look that Faith’s had plenty of time to get used to in her years in Sunnydale.)

"No," Buffy tries again.  "I meant, maybe I could sleep with you.”  

The other Slayer’s eyes widen slightly a second after she says that, which Faith figures means it takes her that long to properly hear what she actually said.

“In the same room, I mean!” the other Slayer clarifies quickly.  “That we should share.  But not … you know.”

Yeah, Faith knows.  She might be slow, but Buffy’s been pretty clear about that.  And it’s not like Faith’s ever been exactly subtle about making the offer..

(“What are friends for?” she remembers asking Buffy once, out on patrol, a few nights before everything went bad.  On one of the last good nights, before Faith had managed to ruin things forever.  And Buffy had just looked at her, the way she always did back then, prim and proper and faintly disapproving, and told her that she thought “that stuff” ruined friendships.  

So they both knew where they stood, even back then.  At least she’d never been desperate enough to beg.)

“Unless ... that's not weird, is it?” Buffy asks her. “ You wouldn’t mind?  You can find somewhere else if you want, or I can, only I–"

Watching Buffy nervously babble, a faint blush still visible on her cheeks, Faith could almost kid herself that no time at all had passed since she first arrived in Sunnydale.  That there’s going to be some big test at school that the older Slayer’s all stressed out about.  That she doesn’t work there, that she isn’t suddenly old enough to own a house and have a job and be raising her kid sister all by herself.  That as late as it is, they could still sneak out to the Bronze after this, just the two of them, and that this time, maybe …

“It’s your house,” Faith says with another shrug, not sure if she wants to think about how she feels about sharing a room with Buffy, even now.  “As long as you don’t snore, we’re five by five.”

The familiar way Buffy reacts that – like she’s affronted, but not actually angry – makes Faith think she must’ve managed to hit the right tone this time.

“I don’t snore,” Buffy says firmly.  “Anything Dawn says to suggest otherwise is a total lie.”

"That’s okay, B," Faith makes herself grin, trying to hang on to the familiar feeling while she can. "I've shared a cell with girls who do a lot worse than snore."

“Surprised you ain’t sharing a room with Dawn, actually,” she admits, a little bit later, once they’re both inside.  “Or one of the Potentials.”

Somebody who isn’t her, she means.  Somebody that Buffy might actually like.  Somebody she can trust.

“Well, Dawn’s the one who snores,” Buffy says.  “And she needs some space of her own.  For homework, and for … I just don’t want to take that away from her.”

Faith’s not sure what to say to that. Even before she was Called, she never had the sort of childhood Buffy or her sister had.  Never got to be just a girl, the way that they both did.  To have the sort of easy life kids have in crappy teen dramas.  Not that she’s the only one missing out; she guesses a lot of other girls don’t ever get the chance either. A fair few of the Potentials sleeping under this very roof didn't, for a start. 

But watching the way Buffy fights to give Dawn the chance to have that sort of childhood – to protect her from the world, as long as she can –  makes Faith feel … well, she isn’t sure.  Proud, maybe, but sort of sad at the same time. Because nobody ever fought for that on her behalf. Because there's nobody left to fight for it for Buffy. 

She doesn’t know how to explain any of that though.  Guesses Buffy would think she would be being presumptive if she tried.  So she doesn’t say a word.

“And the other girls … they don’t get it,” Buffy says.  “They look at me like I’m something I’m not.  Like I’m like Ri– some kind of army guy.  A general.  Like I’m trying to be special; to put myself above them.  They don’t understand what it means to be like us.”

Truth is Faith isn’t sure what it means to be like them.  If she knew how to be like Buffy, maybe things a few years ago could’ve worked out differently.  She’d convinced herself, for a bit, back in prison, that that’s all she’d ever wanted.  To have been like Buffy: so much like her that she didn’t have to think about being herself anymore.  To have been so good at pretending to be her better half  that she became her.

Then Red had helped bust her out of prison, she’d found herself back in Sunnydale  – because Buffy needed her, so what kind of choice did she have?  – and she’d had to admit to herself that that wasn’t all she’d wanted.  It never had been.

They’re both in bed – on opposite sides of the room, so far apart they couldn’t touch even if they’d wanted to – before the other Slayer speaks again. Buffy had grabbed the bed closest to the window, so to a Slayer’s eyes she’s easy enough to see with the moonlight shining through the curtains. Faith though … well, she's in the dark, isn’t she? That part feels familiar too.

“Is it weird?” Buffy asks her.  “Being back here?”

Faith’s glad, suddenly, that Buffy can’t see her in the darkness.  Can’t see the sudden guilty look on her face; that she doesn’t have to pretend not to be surprised that her thoughts were so obvious. 

“Beats prison, I guess,” she says.

There’s a short silence from the other side of the room.

“Right.  I meant to ask.  Was it …” Buffy doesn’t finish the question.  That’s good.  It means Faith doesn’t have to lie to her.

Prison had sucked.  Of course it had.  Probably would have been a lot worse if Faith hadn’t had her strength and her healing and all the other side-benefits of being a Slayer.  Or maybe not.  Maybe if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have had that same itch, every night.  The need to fight, to hunt down demons and monsters, the conviction that she belonged out there, fighting vampires.  The false conviction that the world needed her out there, fighting the good fight.   

Because it was false.  The world had been just fine without her.  Because there was only ever supposed to be one of them, and it was never meant to be her. She didn’t have anything good left to offer anyone anyway.  She’d belonged in prison.  Buffy had said as much.  And if Buffy said it, it had to be true, no matter how much it hurt.  That was pretty much the one thing Faith had learned since she got here.  That Buffy was the good Slayer, and that she was … the other one.

“The other week,” Buffy says slowly, “Anya told me that …”

Faith feels herself tensing up a little.  She doesn’t really get Anya.  She’s a little odd, even for Sunnydale.  She doesn’t remember her from back in the day either.  Some of the things she says don’t really make any sense, but she figures that’s none of her business.  Hell, apparently the girl was all set to marry Xander Harris.  Why should anything she say make any kind of sense?  But if she's been bitching about Faith behind her back, if she said something that upset Buffy, then maybe–

“Nevermind,” Buffy says, cutting that thought off.  “It’s not important.”

Faith feels herself relaxing slightly, a bit of tension draining out of her.  Neither of them speaks for a few more minutes.

"I'm glad you're back, anyway," Buffy says sleepily, just as Faith’s about to nod off herself. "You being here again … it's good. You make me feel safe."

Even at her most pathetic moments behind bars, Faith doesn't think she'd ever let herself imagine Buffy saying that to her.

"Uh, B," she says slowly.  “You might wanna rethink that idea.  Last I checked, most people in this house are a lot safer to be around than I am.  I mean, there’s a reason Dawn leaves the room whenever I come in, and it’s not just because I keep helping myself to that cereal she likes.” 

She’d be lying if she said it didn’t hurt a little, the whole cold shoulder treatment.  Especially since, the way Willow explained it, Dawn’s the one person Faith remembers from her visit to Sunnydale who she didn’t really do anything to.  Sure, she remembers saying things to her, waving a knife in her face, but that wasn’t her.  It didn’t really happen.

But she gets it.  Of course she does.  It might not be real, but it may as well be.  They both remember it all the same.  And it’s nothing she wouldn’t have done, given the chance.  She’d done a lot worse, hadn’t she?  To people Dawn cared about.  To her mom.  To Buffy.

“Dawn really liked you,” Buffy says quietly.  “She was really hurt when .. you know.  But she’ll get over it eventually. She'll forgive you.”

Faith frowns at that.  Swallows in the dark.

“Maybe she shouldn’t,” she says.  “Maybe I don’t deserve that.  The things I did … to Joyce, to you … maybe nobody should forgive me.  Maybe there’s some things you just can’t ever make right.”

(She remembers the last meeting with Buffy, years earlier.  Back in LA.  In Angel’s place.  Remembers the look on her face.  The tremble of barely suppressed fury in her voice.  “Apologize to me,” Buffy had warned her then, “And I will beat you to death.”  Maybe it would’ve been easier for them both that way.)

“You’re not planning to do anything like that again though, right?” Buffy says, fighting back a yawn, comfortable now in a way Faith doesn’t remember her sounding for years.  For forever, maybe.  “I mean, the First isn’t about to talk you into teaming up to take over the world or anything, right?”

"No," Faith says immediately, awake in a way she wasn’t a minute ago.  "God no, Buffy.  Of course I'd never--"

"So I'm right," Buffy says smugly, and without even turning to look Faith can imagine the satisfied look on her face perfectly.  “This is the safest place I can be right now.”

Faith breathes out, slowly.

“Yeah, I guess,” she says. 

Some things haven’t changed, Faith figures.  However little she likes the thought of being a leader, Buffy sure does love being in control.  Faith can’t say she minds too much though.  Not really.  Deep down, she’s always kind of liked it.

Later, when the other Slayer's fallen asleep, Faith just lays in bed, thinking. Trying to get used to the quiet sounds Buffy makes, lying on the other side of the room. (She doesn't snore, exactly. They're not bad sounds.)

That first year in Sunnydale ... looking back, she'd been so angry, pretty much all the time.  At least, as soon as she’d figured out that Buffy wasn’t ever going to accept her into her life the way she wanted.  She’d wanted so badly to be seen, the way that she could see Buffy.  For the other Slayer to recognize something of herself in Faith, something Faith wasn’t sure she had. Because they were the Chosen Two, the only people in the world like each other, but maybe that wasn’t quite enough.

Because Buffy’s wrong.  She is special.  Not because she’s the Slayer, not because she's some kind of General, not because she saved the world a whole bunch of times – although that helps, sure – but because of everything else. Because of the things about her that Faith’s never been able to understand, never been able to imitate: the things that make her different from the person Faith is.  The things that make her better than Faith is, better than she could ever be.  Because she’s Buffy; and because Faith’s not.

Sometimes it feels as though, ever since she arrived in Sunnydale, maybe even before that, Faith’s been nothing but a pale reflection of the older Slayer.  A bad imitation; a cheap and nasty knock-off.  Sometimes it feels like the only thing Faith’s ever really wanted is for the other Slayer to look at her the way she looks at Buffy.  Like she’s the fulcrum on which the whole world rests; the only bright light in a dark and clouded sky. 

Thing is, she's never going to be that for Buffy.  She gets that now.  She's not ever going to be Angel, or Spike, or even that farmhand boytoy Buffy had hooked up with in college.  No amount of wishing or anger or dreaming is ever going to change that.  It’s just not the way the world will ever work.  But maybe that's okay.  With everything she’s done, she doesn’t deserve any of that anyway.  If there was any justice in the world – if Willow hadn’t come to LA last fall, told her that Buffy needed her – she’d still be rotting in a prison cell.  When all this is over, maybe that’s exactly where she’ll end up.

Maybe.  For now, at least, she gets to be needed.  She gets to help.  She gets to be part of Buffy’s life after all, even if it’s not in the way she would’ve wanted.  She gets to be with Buffy -- on patrol, training the Potentials, and sometimes, when she's lucky, in quiet moments alone like this -- without anybody fighting her or calling the cops on her or trying to drag her back to prison.  She gets to listen to her now, breathing quietly as she sleeps.  And that's enough.  Of course it is.  That has to be enough.  It's more than she deserves.

This First Evil demon thing wants to go after the Slayer line?  It wants to hurt Buffy?  Well, let it try.  It'll have to come through her first.  Plenty of chicks in prison had figured out the hard way that Faith was tougher than she looked.  And she's got something to fight for now.  She's found somewhere that she belongs.  If Buffy wants her to play watchdog again, then that’s something she can do.

Faith falls asleep watching Buffy, committing the sight of her face bathed in moonlight to memory.   Because she knows that, however things go from here, this was one of the good nights.  This is a moment she isn’t going to want to forget.

And when Faith sleeps, she dreams.  She dreams of coming around to Buffy’s house again, the way she had that first night, and doing things all over.   She dreams of Homecoming, and Christmas dinners, and dancing side by side at the Bronze.  She dreams of being brave enough to say how she feels instead of muttering an awkward “nothing” to an already closing door.  Faith dreams of Buffy Summers and second chances, with a smile on her face that she can’t know mirrors the smile of the Slayer sleeping across from her.

For now, in this moment, maybe that’s enough.

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #29 | 03.27.23

Hi everyone!

April is almost here, which terrifies me since the year is going by so fast. Before I get into game updates, I wanted to share a bit of a (somewhat) personal one.

This month, progress on Alaris was overall a bit slow---or at least, slower than usual. I noticed this month I was struggling a lot with working on basically anything, whether it was for school, work, Alaris, or just taking care of myself. And I realized basically a year late that I was feeling extremely burnt out.

For those who have been following Alaris for a long time, you may know that early 2022, I was struggling with a lot of personal circumstances. I had taken a week off back then to "take time for myself," but in actuality, I had continued working on Alaris and other things because sometimes when I have too much time on my hands, it's worse for my mental health. This was a recurring theme for basically all of 2022. Even during the holiday breaks (e.g., summer, November, December, etc.), I continued working on Alaris, partly because I love the project, partly because it helps me cope with irl things.

This past month, I think the break that I've desperately needed since the start of 2022 made itself Very Apparent and made progress slow on my end. I'm very sorry if the update this month is disappointing because of that! I tried to take a break this past week and am feeling a bit better now, so hopefully, things start to get back on track this upcoming month <3 With that, I'll get into actual updates!

Writing

I'm not going to lie to you all; writing was Slow this month LOL. Basically, the entire writing team got taken out by some sickness or another. I would say for 2-3 weeks of the month, there was no progress on editing or writing at all since everyone was sick at the same time <\3 We are starting to pick things back up, but please send your best wishes to the writing team since they were Going Through It this month!! Also, if you got sick this month and got whatever has been going around globally, I hope you are feeling better as well <333

I did update a good amount of the demo script---just rewriting things since my writing style has changed a little. Small things, but hopefully enjoyable changes nonetheless!

Art

As always, we have continued to make progress on BG art. This month, Vui finished the River BG and the Forest BG, both of which appear in Chapter 2 of the demo. We actually only have one more BG to finish, which is the Flower Field, and all the BGs for the demo will be complete (ahh!!!). It's been about 5 (?) months in the making to revamp all the BGs for the demo, but we are finally reaching the finish line, and everything is slowly getting ready for a revamped demo release ^^

preview of the forest BG

I also have a preview of the GUI for you all! There will be some small changes, like colors, before the final version. But a little crumb to feed you all since I didn't make much progress this month

I also mentioned in the last devlog how I might update the personality icons for Alaris, which were completed this month by the same item artist who did the affection point icons!

The overall vision for this was little potions to build on the "magical" setting of Alaris. I think they're much easier to differentiate and so cute <3

My focus was more on demo art assets for this month, so I finished up the individual CGs for each of the LI's introductions.

soft and fluffy updated Etza CG

I also started updating the sprites a bit---mostly small touches so the art looks a bit more cohesive since my style has changed a bit since the demo first came out. Aisa and Kuna'a are receiving outfit changes so that their clothing stands out from Central gang and looks more cohesive with the aesthetic that will be used for Fae.

Additional Notes

Something else I got to work on this month was finally reviewing the demo voiced lines in full. I hope you all are EXCITED to listen to them in the updated demo! A lot of the lines had me giggling (heehee!). I can't wait to see everything together once it's coded into the game ^^

I also opened applications for playtesters. They close at the end of this month, aka in a couple of days. So if you are interested, please don't forget to submit an application! Thank you already to everyone who has submitted something. The response was more than I expected, so as always, I appreciate the support you all provide wah <3

Market Research

Lastly, I actually got to do some "market research" this month (yay!). I finished up Piofiore finally.

the man, the legend: gilbert redford

Touchstarved also came out. I unfortunately haven't been able to play the demo yet since I was traveling when it was released, but I already know I'll love it and I drew Kuras even though I haven't even played the game yet LMAO

gender envy

Anyways, I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3

[yeowangies]

Blood Stains

CHAPTER X: If I bleed you'll be the last to know

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/F!Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Canon Divergence AU, Slow burn, Smut, Enemies to Lovers. WARNINGS: Explicit sexual content. WORDCOUNT: 4791

Summary:

You freeze in place. It has been a month since you had that argument with Raditz. What is he doing here? Even when weeks went by, you’re not sure you’ve cooled off enough to handle this yet. Or at all, since you were positive you would never see his face again.

Notes:

I feel like it's been a year since I've updated this, but it's only been a little over a month. I wrote this chapter like two months ago, and as I was reading this to check if everything is as I want it to be, I realized that I've written something that I wish I had in my life. I'm not gonna go too deep into this but it was weirdly comforting.

Again, I won't know when I'll post the next chapter, I'm currently busy with a lot of irl stuff, but hopefully it's gonna be in less than a month this time!

The lyrics in the title is from Taylor Swift's Cruel Summer. Enjoy!

You can check the tag #*bs if you wanna see the previous chapters.

A confrontation like that was not how you wanted to end things with Raditz. Because it was definitely over after that. You’re certain you won’t see him again. 

You feel it in your bones, he likes staying with you and being with you. He has slept so much better the second time around, and he hasn’t been so tense. What he said hurt and you are still angry, so angry, but it was your fault he stormed out like that, you shouldn’t have said anything. You shouldn’t have talked to him as if he was going to break.

Then again, remaining silent didn’t feel right either. Even if you had agreed to only sleep together. 

It was stupid to think you wouldn’t get attached. You never expected this affair to last for as long as it did, which wasn’t even that long to begin with. You even got to know him during his short stay, and even before that when he was staying at Capsule Corp; you know him too much for someone who you were just going to share a bed with every once in a while. 

Lust was how all of it started, but it has transformed into something more, even if you don’t even want to acknowledge it yourself.

Would all that actually change anything?

You purposely had avoided the topic of his stay here on Earth, or about the Saiyans, before that day. But he said some things and you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Nothing feels right, and you feel like punching a wall. Which would probably hurt less than when you slapped him, it’s like his face was made of steel. 

You know for sure Raditz won’t ever come back, and you get more used to the idea as days pass by. It doesn’t hurt any less, though, and your heart feels tight whenever you dwell on it. 

“I’m staying at Kame House for a few days, do you wanna come along?” Bulma asks over the phone one afternoon, in a cheery tone.

You haven’t told Bulma anything about Raditz at all; keeping it a secret was for the best, or so you thought. You were regretting it a bit now, all your emotions were bottling up inside and that couldn’t be good. But you’re not ready to share everything yet.

“No, it’s okay, I… have work to do.”

“Don’t forget the Saiyans are getting here one of these days, it’d be better if you’re here when that happens.”

“I know.”

“Do you know anything about Raditz?”

You inhale sharply before clearing your throat.

“I don’t.”

“That’s so weird, he just disappeared. I would assume he left the planet, but he doesn’t have any ship, does he?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Mmh, I’m sure we’ll know what he’s been up to once his two buddies come here. I know Goku can take them.”

“Yeah… Yeah, Goku is unbeatable, right?”

“…Are you okay? You don’t sound too good…”

“I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve been thinking about this too much.” At least that part isn’t a lie. “Don’t worry, okay? Call me if anything happens.”

You hang up after that.

It has been almost a year since Goku died. It doesn’t feel like so much time has passed. Since you’ve been trying to avoid the topic altogether when Raditz was around, you actually lost track of time until Bulma called to tell you about it. 

You’re reconsidering actually making a bag and getting to Kame House too when a loud knock on the balcony startles you. 

You freeze in place. It has been a month since you had that argument with Raditz. What is he doing here? Even when weeks went by, you’re not sure you’ve cooled off enough to handle this yet. Or at all, since you were positive you would never see his face again. 

“Open up.” Raditz’s loud voice demands from the other side of the balcony door. “Unless you want me to blast through the wall.”

Fuck. You know he isn’t bluffing. 

Breathing in deeply, you open the door ajar to look him up. He’s still as handsome as ever even when he doesn't have his usual smirk, you want to gouge out your eyes because of how furious it makes you. You lock eyes with him for a brief second before moving to the side to let him in. 

Raditz stands in front of you with his eyes fixed on your face, but your gaze is elsewhere. Now that he is here, you don’t want to apologize first. You’re hurt, but you’re still very angry too. You’re a lot of emotions together at once with him. 

“Are you not even going to look at me?” He asks, annoyed. 

You sigh, slowly, turning your eyes towards him. You can’t decipher the expression on his face, but Raditz is staring at you with such intensity you’re worried he might be seeing right through you. You avert your gaze from him after a second, unsure if you want to slap him again or jump right into his arms. 

You’re startled when Raditz abruptly takes a few steps towards you and grabs your arms, pulling you closer and leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss. A surprised noise escapes you, melting a little inside when you feel him so close after all that time. It takes a second for you to remember that you’re still upset and that you don’t actually want to give in this easily.

“No…” You murmur quietly into the kiss, pushing urgently at his shoulders to get him off. “No, Raditz, I don’t wanna do this!”

“Your body is saying otherwise.” He says with a smirk, hands sliding underneath your shirt and making you shiver.

“I don’t wanna do this when I’m mad at you!” You clarify, pulling away from him the best you can in his embrace. 

“Isn’t this the best way to make amends?” 

That smug grin of his grows wider and your face heats up, but you still roll your eyes. 

“I’m not doing this until you apologize. What you said to me hurt…” 

Raditz pulls away, frowning deeply, his hands closing into fists then opening and closing again a couple of times. You realize that he probably won’t apologize first; you wonder if he actually can apologize at all, not because he’s incapable, but maybe it’s something he has never done before. 

“Though I guess, I really hurt you too.” You say after seconds of silence, taking the first step. “I didn’t mean to talk to you that way… I’m sorry. What I said was true though, I do care about you…”

He nods, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“What am I supposed to say?” Raditz asks, with his eyes still on your face.

“I don’t know… tell me how you feel?” His frown gets deeper and you want to laugh because he looks like a petulant child who simply can’t have things his way. You offer him a small smile instead. “Do they not teach Saiyans how to apologize?”

“We do not apologize.” 

You sigh, your smile turning sour because you expected that answer. 

“It wasn’t my intention to upset you.” Raditz says, to your surprise, as he gets closer again with a smirk. “Let me show you how sorry I am.”

You huff, smiling despite yourself, when his hands reach for you again, pulling you closer by your shirt until you’re flush against him.

“You’re only saying that cause you wanna get laid!”

“I’m saying that because I want you.” He leans down to bury his face in your neck, pressing his nose to your skin and breathing in deeply. “If you do not want this, tell me to stop.”

Goosebumps form on your skin when you feel his breath near your ear, and you jolt when his hands trail under your shirt once more. 

You don’t know if that apology of his is enough, but he did say he was sorry in a way.

When Raditz realizes you won’t stop him, he removes all your clothes urgently, and you help him get rid of his as he kisses you fervently. You feel his desperation by the way his hands gripped your body, pressing you as close as possible while his lips devoured you. You had to pull away for air, but he just kept planting kisses down your jaw and neck.

You soon forget why you’ve been mad all this time, and your mind goes completely blank when he lays you on the bed and kneels down on the floor, grinning cheekily as he throws your legs over his shoulders. 

“I may not be good with words, but I know I’m damn good at other things.” Raditz purrs, tracing his lips on the inside of your thighs.

You laugh breathily because he’s obviously right, and you’re too weak to argue about whatever you were talking about before.

Whatever Raditz gets out of going down on you, you don’t know, but you don’t ponder on the thought when he coaxes you into coming twice with just his mouth in what must be record time. You’re still in haze when he crawls on top of you, kissing you gently as he pushes his cock inside you. 

“Fuck, I needed this…” He grunts in your ear, once he’s fully sheathed. “I need you. I want you.”

Raditz sets a steady yet hard pace, slamming his hips against yours. You whimper, your body still sensitive, and after a few rough thrusts you get closer to the edge again. You don’t even try to fight it or to make it last longer; after having come twice already, you’re too weak to do much. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you hold him close as your release washes over you, shuddering and letting out a stuttered moan. Raditz groans against your skin before biting down your neck, moving into you faster until his body tenses, coming inside with a guttural growl.

He practically collapses on top of you once he’s spent but you don’t mind it; it’s nice to feel him so close after so many days when you were getting used to the idea that you wouldn’t meet him again. Running your hands up and down his back and threading your fingers through his hair, you sigh contently until he rolls over to the side. 

When he pulls you closer with an arm around your shoulder and his tail on your waist, you look at him with wide eyes. He rarely initiates cuddling. 

“I thought I was never going to have you again.” Raditz confesses quietly, only for you to hear. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come back either…” You respond softly. “I didn’t want that to be the last time we saw each other. Everything I said… You shouldn’t take my word for it anyway.”

“Didn’t you say you meant it?”

“When I said I care about you, yeah, I did, but everything else… I mean, you know me enough. I come home to an empty apartment every day. Who am I to talk about how you live your life…”

Your eyes are looking at the window, fixed on the sky, tinted with dark orange as the sun sets, but you can feel his eyes trained on your face. 

“I still have a lot to apologize for, is that what you’re saying?” Raditz asks, pressing you closer.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He hums in response, and you shut up for once, not wanting to drag this along anymore. When he presses his nose to the top of your head, breathing in your scent, you close your eyes, relaxing for a minute, pleased that he has magically decided to come and stay for at least a little while.

“You didn’t ask me to clean myself this time.” Raditz casually says, and you snort. You’re aware that you didn’t, but you also didn’t catch any weird smell when he was close, so you don’t really care.

“I was just ignoring how dirty you are.”

“Is that so?” He shifts, moving even closer and pressing his lips to your neck again. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

You’re only human, and Raditz is looking at you with eyes that make you want to sink and drown in them. He effortlessly carries you to the shower, and as water falls down both of your bodies, he kisses you heatedly when he slides inside you again, moving at a steady pace, and it doesn’t take long until you both come simultaneously. 

Later that night, when he’s sleeping by your side with an arm draped over your waist, tears well up in your eyes. You don’t dare to think about it, let alone say it out loud, but you know how you feel. You know well what the word is for how you feel towards him. Anxiety about the upcoming days keeps you from reveling in your feelings because you know this won’t end well. This was supposed to be just casual but you had been naive to think it could remain that way as time went by. 

Swallowing down your feelings, and telling yourself to keep quiet about them and how much it’s going to hurt once he leaves, you blink your tears away before they can spill as you press closer to Raditz, and try to sleep.

*

Raditz was honest when he said he thought he was never going to lay with you again. He was sure you wouldn’t want to work things out when he got to your place to talk to you, you were the one who told him to leave after all. Thankfully, he had been wrong; he figured he would have to say sorry even if he didn’t know how. But when he kissed you and your body responded to him, he knew not all was lost. He’s very aware he did the bare minimum, but apologizing is something he has never done, not like this, not when he’s actually sorry and has to show himself vulnerable to someone else. It’s comforting to know you did the same for him. 

He feels you moving more than usual when the two of you go to sleep that night, as well as how tense your body is against his. He’s close to actually asking if there’s something wrong, but you end up falling asleep at some point. 

After sharing a bed with you for so many nights, Raditz already knows you’re not a light sleeper, not like he is. He moves to press closer when he wakes up the next morning, and you don’t even notice, too deep in your slumber to respond to his gesture. He can’t see your face from his position; your back is against his chest, the faint sunlight filtering through the window highlights the line of your body, and he can smell your hair. Small benefits from lying down like  that. 

The desire to stay like this, with his nose buried in your hair and an arm wrapped around your waist while the sun rises, is unfamiliar and confusing, yet not entirely unwelcome. Since he never actually had sex and slept with someone before, especially not as many times, he’s not sure how normal it is to feel this way, but it brings him a sense of peace that he has never experienced before. The closest feeling to this one was the one he got after purging a planet, like satisfaction from having finished a job, and knowing he could relax for a bit. Yet at the same time, it’s unfair to compare the two, they were similar, but nothing alike. 

Saiyans rarely mated for life, but it wasn’t completely uncommon. Raditz is well aware, his parents were one of the few mated couples on the planet. But it had been a long time ago, and the image of everyone else he may have known is fuzzy. Is this how his parents felt when they were with each other? 

He knows he’s become quite fond of you; after you told him to leave last time and the prospect of never touching you again sank in, how important you are to him became much more obvious. But what's more surprising is that it doesn’t bother him at all. 

Except for the fact that Vegeta and Nappa are coming to this planet God knows when. Raditz has lost track of time a long time ago, all he knows is that they are getting here someday. 

He remembers well that he was looking for the Dragon Balls too. For immortality, or something. He’s been rethinking that wish for a few days now, but there isn’t any alternative that satisfies him. 

His focus shifts when you stir, humming softly as you wake up. You look comically startled to see him staring at you when you turn to him with sleepy eyes. 

“Hey,” You mumble, clearing your throat, “You should have woken me up if you were awake.”

“Why?” His tail that has been draped over your hip tightens, holding you closer to his body. 

“I don’t know, aren’t you hungry, or bored?”

“I’m not.” Raditz chuckles; maybe he’s a little hungry, but he rather stays like this. “You snore when you sleep and that’s pretty entertaining.”

“I do not!”

“Yes, you do. Pretty loudly.”

“Well, you snore too, and even louder!”

You’re looking at him with drowsy eyes, rosy cheeks, and messy hair; he can’t resist.

Laughing quietly, Raditz brings the hand on your waist up to your cheek to stroke it, pulling you closer towards him and gently pressing his lips to yours. You make a surprised soft noise and squirm in his arms, making him smile into the kiss, completely pleased with your reaction. He plants another brief kiss before pulling awake, and you stare at him with wide eyes.  

“Why did you do that?” You ask shyly, blushing deeper. He’s not sure why you’re blushing, you had kissed each other before, plenty of times. 

But he’s never kissed you just because, with no intentions of sex. 

Raditz remains quiet, only staring at your face for a little while before you move to sit up.

“I should get up… I’ll make breakfast.”

Your cheeks still have a faint pink hue as he watches you walk out the room towards the bathroom. 

You stare at him more often than usual during the morning, while he eats, and he usually wouldn’t mind it, but you’re not even saying anything that would explain why you keep your eyes trained on him with such intensity. 

“You keep staring at me, girl, what are you thinking?”

“I didn’t realize I was… Sorry.”

Raditz grunts in response, noticing that you look embarrassed for being caught. He doesn’t get it, though. 

“I don’t like it when you call me ‘girl��.”

“What? Why? You are a girl.” He frowns, confused.

“I am but I’m not a child, I’m a woman.”

“I’m well aware of that.”

“How old are you, anyway? You look around Goku’s age.”

“I don’t know.” Raditz replies after some time. 

“You don’t know how old you are?”

“No. I was seven when Planet Vegeta was destroyed. I stopped counting after that.”

You look sad for whatever reason; he doesn’t get that either. 

“Goku was sent here as a baby…” You start after some time, thinking out loud and locking eyes with him. “Do you remember how old you were when he was born?”

“I was six.”

“So, a year later, your planet was destroyed?”

“More or less, yes.”

“Mmh… Goku was 24 when he died-”

“Can we stop talking about Kakarot?”

“-and he would have been 25 by now. And you’re 6 years older than him. So you’re 31.”

Raditz blinks, unsure of how to react. 

“You’re not that much older than me then, I was a bit worried.” You smile cheerily. 

“You were worried?” 

“A bit, yeah. You could have been 100 years old for all I know. But I’m glad we are close in age.”

“Is age that important? How old are you?” He eyes you up and down; he doesn’t have any concept about how humans age, but you look young. 

Do humans stay young for a long time, like Saiyans? Doubtful. Saiyans were built like that to fight for decades, but humans do not do that. 

“I’m 28.” You smile wider, resting your arms on the table and leaning closer. “You also seem like a Scorpio.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“It’s a human thing, according to when you were born, you have certain personality traits.”

“You humans sure have a lot of free time on your hands.” 

Raditz yanks your chair closer to his with his foot, making you jolt, obviously surprised, but you keep talking. 

“Yeah, well, we were never involved in intergalactic wars. But I’m not sure if you’re more like a Scorpio or a Gemini…”

“I don’t know what any of that means.” 

He effortlessly picks you, making you sit on his lap and holding you close as his lips find your neck, pressing kisses up your jaw. 

“You can be a Scorpio because you’re a little stubborn, among other things…” You giggle when he presses his nose to the skin under your ear, taking in your scent. “Or a Gemini because you’re mischievous, and a little tense…”

Raditz isn’t really paying too much attention to what you’re saying, he’s too preoccupied with how your body feels, how soft your skin is, and how sweet your smell is to respond to your words.

“You’re not listening to me…” You say, quietly and breathily, as he sneaks a hand underneath your shirt.

“I’m busy.” He nibbles your jaw, and you shiver slightly in his embrace. “I don’t understand a word you’re saying anyway.”

Capturing your lips next, you’re finally silenced as he kisses you ardently, digging his fingers into your flesh to press you as close as possible. You hum contently, kissing him just as eagerly, and Raditz feels his chest tightening with adoration. 

It’s a strange sensation, being aware of his affection for you, and the affection itself, having never experienced anything close to it. He could spend hours just sitting there, kissing you, touching you, and even more. 

When he pulls away to take off your shirt, Raditz notices that the sky has turned pitch black, leaving your apartment in the dark. It’s morning, the sun was out just a minute ago. You gasp when you notice it too, and you stiffen in his arms. Looking at your face, even in the shadows, he immediately can tell that you know what’s going on. 

“What is this?” He asks, staring at you. 

He hears you swallow as your hold on his shoulders tightens, but you don’t answer. 

Raditz stands up, helping you stay on your feet before he walks to the window to look outside. There’s nothing going on besides the sky being completely obscured. He focuses on detecting energies, but there’s no one who catches his attention. 

The darkness only lasts a few minutes before the sun is out again, just in the same spot it was before. He has been on Earth enough to know that hasn’t been a common occurrence on that planet. And there isn’t any moon for it to be an eclipse.

When Raditz turns to look at you, you seem upset, with your brows furrowed and mouth slightly open. 

“You know what’s going on. Tell me.” He wants to sound demanding, but he has grown too soft to even raise his voice at you.

You open and close your mouth a few times, and he waits patiently for an explanation, but before he can get one, your phone rings. He’s about to tell you to ignore it, but you quickly turn to pick it up. His eyes follow you, and he listens in to your conversation (as he usually does when you talk on the phone with someone).

“Oh, hi, Bulma… Yeah, I saw. I figured it was you. So Goku is back? Tomorrow? But that’s a month early! Yeah, I know. I’ll be there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Raditz watches as you hang up, and slowly, very slowly, turn to him. You still look distressed as you lock eyes with him. 

“The Saiyans are getting here tomorrow.”

He couldn’t hide the surprised look on his face. Tomorrow? Has it been a year? No, that’s why you said ‘that’s a month early’. It hasn’t been a year, but he has lost track of time to even notice how long it’s been. He’s been too distracted.

“And… They brought Goku back to life. Now you can’t use the Dragon Balls…” 

Raditz frowns. He wanted the Dragon Balls to make a wish (immortality, was it?) but he doesn’t really care about that anymore. 

You’re looking at him with big eyes, and he understands why you seem so upset now. 

When Raditz takes a few steps forward he isn’t really thinking, he just knows that he wants to touch you and feel you close more than ever before. You’re startled by how fast he lunges towards you, and you even gasp when he kisses you. He presses you against the telephone stand, almost tumbling it over, but he really doesn’t care, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He kisses you as if he hasn’t been kissing you the past few days, the past few months, with intensity, tasting your lips and every corner of your mouth.

“Raditz-” You call for him against his lips, clinging to his shoulders. “Wait-”

“I don’t want to wait.” He practically growls, gripping your waist so tight he regrets it, thinking he might have hurt you, but you only hum in response. “I don’t want to talk. Just…”

At a loss of words, he trails off, but luckily you don’t try again. 

You only moan his name, and the occasional curse, when Raditz presses you against the mattress moments later, moving in and out of you at a slow pace, kissing you heatedly the entire time, swallowing down all your noises and all the words that escape your lips. He groans your name against your skin every time he comes, holding you close, knowing this time that he will have to let you go once tomorrow arrives. 

When he decided that this situation with you was just a distraction in what could only be considered a ‘pause’ in the usual pace of his life, he hadn’t been thinking clearly. He feels like he’s bleeding inside again, for different reasons now. 

Raditz stays in bed with you for most of the day (he still knows you’re human, and you can’t possibly keep up with him if he were to actually fuck you all day long, and you both need to eat anyway). For once you don’t talk too much, and he realizes he actually likes it when you do, when you ask him questions or when you quip a witty remark at him. 

He doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow. 

“You’re not going to go there, are you?” Raditz asks you the next morning, eying you up and down as you sit on the bed, tying up your shoes. 

“No, I’m going to be at Kame House.”

“That pink house where we met?”

“Yeah…”

He nods. He doesn’t know why he even asked, if something were to happen to the planet, it wouldn’t matter where you are. 

“I’ll take you there.”

“Oh, I can get there myself.” You show him a small smile. “Thank you, though.”

Raditz would argue but it’s better that way. He can say goodbye to you alone here. 

As soon as you stand up, he kisses you. You get surprised every time, but you return it just the same. He glides his lips over yours, slow and sweet, as he holds your face. This might be the last time he gets to kiss you, so he makes it last until he feels you’re struggling for air. He’s going to miss that hazy look in your eyes when he breaks a kiss, the look you currently have as he leans his forehead against yours. 

Unsure of what to say, Raditz just keeps his eyes locked with yours for a while. You said before you want him to say goodbye whenever he leaves. He doesn’t want to say it, but he does anyway.

“Goodbye.”

His body protests when he takes a step back, his hands on your face leaving you last. You still look distressed, and he waits for a minute, in case you want to say something.

When you don’t, Raditz finally turns to the balcony, opening the door and flying away. 

[zinder-fox]

Got my bingo card today for the Summer Fic Reading Challenge of 2024. Just for fun, I think I'll post updates on my progress and links to the fics I ended up reading. For anyone that doesn't want to see these, feel free to filter out the tag: 'zinder's sfrc 2024' [I'm planning to tag all of these updates with that for anyone who doesn't really care.]

Here's the bingo card I'm starting with and the fics I've marked off from the last ~6-6.5 hours.

#5 - Is Not for Comfort, but for Liberation - My Hero Academia (DabiHawks) [Words: 6,794] This one is part 5 of a series (The Truth). I've gotten through 6 or 7 of them with plans to keep reading the rest.

#8 - Wait, you're dating a twink? - Apothecary Diaries (JinMao) [Words: 1,483]

#18 - fig tea accusations - Bungo Stray Dogs (SSKK) [Words: 3,772]

#20 - It's Time For Another Good Idea, Bad Idea - Solo Leveling (Jin-Woo/Jin-Chul) [Words: 70,538]

I almost definitely will not be marking off squares this quickly in the future, but part of that is because I have ideas for a few of the squares that will take time to read, even for me. For the crossover fic, I'm thinking about finally catching up on a very, very long crossover series whose final fic I haven't started yet, but to do so I think I'll want to re-read it from the very beginning... and it's almost 700k words posted right now, so that'll be an undertaking if I end up committing to it.

Total Wordcount: 82,587

Some notes below on my writing for those following me for that.

This challenge will probably slow me down writing a bit as I really haven't done much fic reading in the last 6 months in favor of that, but I've been struggling a bit lately to actually focus and write. So, I'm hoping that getting back into reading as well will help inspire the same kind of writing drive I had at the start of the year.

So for anyone following me for 'open my eyes to everything (there must be something more)' I WILL still be working on it throughout. It is definitely not being forgotten.

Also - I have plans to post chapter 18 - probably tomorrow - out of my buffer so hopefully that will help appease everyone who has been suffering from the cliffhanger for the last 2 weeks. I don't have any real timeline for updates and won't make promises for when chapter 19 will end up posting, but I am something like 30% through chapter 22, so hopefully not too long.

[deke-rivers-1957]

My Year in Review

Idk why tumblr didn't do this like they did last year, but I'm making my own.

First I'd like to thank the 184 followers who have shown interest in my work throughout the year. I hope to continue making good content in the next year.

Now what exactly have I done this year? Admittedly the first few months of the year was slow do to finishing my last year of college. I only made a handful of posts a month until the summer. I was just unable to do any big project because I simply didn't have the energy. My Jailhouse Rock review was announced last November and wasn't finished until March. In fact when @georgefairbrother requested my next 2 films back on March 30th, I didn't get my first request done until October 4th about 6 months later. Since then, I was able to do one review a month. My goal is to keep up that pace and review 12 Elvis movies this next year. I still plan on continuing to make installments for the ECU tier list where I rank each Elvis character based on their fighting ability. I think the decision to make a tidbit post for each character after I finished a movie helped maintain interest in the project.

But it isn't all doom and gloom as I've also been working on several new projects. Back in June I started releasing this one story called The Greatest Hero in the Empire. It's a fanfic in which Toby Kwimper from Follow That Dream is a gladiator who goes through a lot of trials just to obtain his freedom. It hasn't quite performed as well as I wanted it to, but a note here and there is very much appreciated. Link to the story is on the master list. I've been dabbling in oneshots since then and even got my first request from @fairybloodsucker to do a story about Dr. Carpenter.

I've expanded into doing rps with the lovely @mercsandmonsters and @vintagepresley. You can find my rps with @mercsandmonsters using the rp tag on my blog. My rp with @vintagepresley can be see on her blog where I portray Sheriff Kwimper, Scott Heyward, Clint Reno and Pacer Burton.

In September, 2 new projects were created: The ECU bio cards and ECU High. Both have garnered a lot of support and I couldn't be any happier. Those of course will be continued next year and I hope people will still find it as enjoyable as when I started it. Links to each chapter/installment can be found on the master list.

So what do I have planned for next year regarding new projects? Outside of continuing to release installments for current projects I admit I have no idea. Depending on my ability to stick to the plan of one review a month, I might create a new project where after every 10 or so movies, I rank them. Hopefully I'll be able to make 2 installments of that as I'd be at 20 films by the end of next year.

Ultimately thank you all for interacting with me and my content this past year. I hope to hear more from you all about requests and various projects throughout the year.

Happy New Year!

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

The Wormhole, Part 1

Long time no see, Tumblr friends!  To put it simply, college and real life have been my focus for these past few months and now that things are (hopefully) slowing down a bit for the summer, I hope to maybe scroll this hellsite more often than once a month.  

Writer’s block has also been defeated (for the moment) and I’ve got a fun new story in the works.  This one here is just one I’ve been sitting on for awhile.  Enjoy!  

Character Relationships:  Thorin Oakenshield x Modern!Female OC

Content Warning(s):  Mentions of manipulative behavior from an ex-boyfriend and his appearance.

Summary:  Reverse of the “Girl falls into Middle Earth” trope.  Thorin finds himself mysteriously transported to the modern world after surviving BOTFA and winds up in the care of a New York Academy of Arts teacher, Estel Cavanah.  She has no idea why this man is so incompetent with the day’s technology.  

“…And as you can see, the honey shade matches up pretty well with Nashville blue.  The darker tones cool the orange.”  I paused to glance at the clock on the other side of the room.  The neon red numbers signaled the looming end of my class period.

Or, by the way my students were shuffling in their seats and surreptitiously packing away pen and paper, perhaps it was more of a couldn’t-come-soon-enough.  

“Seeing as we are almost out of time, I’ll let you all go. See you on Friday!”  I smiled as the room immediately erupted into a flurry of movement.  The students, all eager to head home to relax at the end of a long day, feverishly packed up the last of their things and filed out of the room.  It was almost insulting how quickly they wanted to leave my class.  But I could understand their hurry; I had been a student once, and no matter how much I loved art, sometimes I couldn’t wait to get out of the classroom.

I turned to my own desk to pack up my stuff for the day, only to pause when a knock broke the silence.  Annoyance sprung to life at the thought of having to spend more time here when I could be at home.

Slowly, I turned around, wondering what student had dropped by.  But it wasn’t a student.  The person wasn’t even a resident of the state!

“Zach, what are you doing here?!”  I asked incredulously, unable to believe that the man was even standing in my doorway.  “You live in North Carolina!”  

“I came here to talk with you,” he said.  I shot him a look.  

“Zach, there is a reason phones were invented. Besides, what is so important that you come up to New York without calling me?”  I asked, propping my hands on my hips.  Then another thought occurred to me.  A much darker and more disturbing thought.  “How did you even know where I was?  We haven’t talked since high school!”

Zach just shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he walked further into my classroom.  “That’s not really important, Estel—”  

“Oh, I really think it is…”

“…I just wanted to see if you wanted to get back together.  I think we made a mistake when we broke up.”  Zach kept walking, and I began to feel the cold chills of anxiety trickle down my spine.  I stepped behind my desk, putting it between me and him.

I really didn’t think he would do anything, but at the same time, it felt like a very real possibility.

“Zach, we dated in high school.  We’re adults now.  If it didn’t work out then, I don’t think it will work out now.  Now, get out of here before I call security.”  I made a show of picking up my cell phone and unlocking it.  

He stopped walking, finally taking his hands out of his pockets to raise them in the air.  “Woah, slow down girl.  Let’s just talk, okay?  Just because we didn’t work out in high school doesn’t mean we won’t work out now.”

“I really don’t think it does…  And don’t tell me what to do, Zach.  You’re the one who’s shown up out of the blue after stalking me!” My finger hovered over the keypad on my phone, waiting to dial the campus police.  

“I’m not stalking you!”  The words burst out of Zach like an avalanche.  Immediately, his face became apologetic, and he took another step towards me.  “I’m sorry, that was rude of me, Estel…”

Instantly, I was brought back to my days as a high schooler trying to figure out both my life and manage a boyfriend at the same time. Everything pointed towards us becoming high school sweethearts.  Then one day the daydream shattered.  I was introduced to just who my boyfriend really was, and he wasn’t the man I had thought he was.  

Early on in our relationship, he’d stood behind me in my goals and dreams.  When I said that I wanted to be a teacher, he told me to follow my heart.  But when the topic came up again a few months later, he wasn’t as supportive.  

To put a long story short, he wanted to get married young and start a family.  My going away to college in a different state would put a damper on his goals.  That made me the selfish one in the relationship.

And he didn’t want that.  He did his best to hold on to our relationship and convince me to stay with him, but in the end I had to be true to myself and follow the path my heart was leading me on.  

I wasn’t sad when it ended; I felt freer than I had felt in what seemed like forever.  And the saying about hindsight being 20/20 was a constant presence in my mind as I went over our relationship.  I noticed manipulative behaviors that I hadn’t picked up on before. I realized how lucky I was to get out of it early.  To be true enough to myself not to give up my dreams for a guy.

Gathering my courage, I slipped my laptop into my bag. “No, I don’t want to hear anything from you.  We aren’t ever getting back together, Zach.  I don’t even know why you would think that.  Now, I have to go.”  Grabbing my bag, I slung it over my shoulder.  Holding my phone—keypad at the ready—I marched past Zach.

I left him behind just like I had all those years ago.  No glances over my shoulder for one last glimpse.  I just wanted to go home where I felt safe.  

The walk to my car had never felt longer, even in the broad daylight.  Clicking the button on my fob to unlock it, I pulled open the door and threw my bag in before climbing into the driver seat.  As I sat and collected my bearings, a niggling thought rose in my brain.

If Zach knew where I was teaching, chances were he knew exactly where I lived.  Right down to the apartment number.  

All of a sudden, home no longer felt as comforting. It felt dangerous to go back to, despite how much I wanted to.  And I had no choice.

Scanning the parking lot, I pulled out of my space.

~~~

I showed up early at the stable I worked at part-time, not feeling safe at my apartment.  Coincidentally, it was also owned by my brother who was too busy managing the family estates down in Havana to spend much time managing it.  That job fell to me as his little sister.  

The black sheep of the family.

I could only hope that Zach didn’t know about it. Maybe I could buy a sleeping bag and camp out in one of the empty stalls for the night…  Or text Ash and see if I could crash at her apartment for the night. She wouldn’t refuse me.

At least, not if her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Mike, wasn’t around.  Then I really didn’t want to be in the same flat.

Pulling out my phone, I unlocked it and began typing out the message to her when the bugling of a stallion ripped through the air. I frowned, the noise out of place at the normally serene stable.  

Then I heard the screaming.  

Shoving my phone in my pocket and throwing open the door, I bolted out of my car and towards the one pasture that contained a stallion.  The most ill-tempered beast I’d ever had the displeasure of handling.  Although, given that I didn’t get involved too much with horses, wasn’t really saying much.

Quickly catching up to a teen who was also hurrying towards the commotion, I grabbed their arm to stop them.  “Grab a lead rope!”  I gasped before taking off again.  I could only wonder which cocky new teenage boy had decided that he would be the one guy Ferrari—the stallion—liked.  

And exactly how much legal trouble I was about to get into.

Turning the corner to the gate of the paddock, I stopped and did a double take.  The man currently dangling from the mouth of the bay stud definitely was not one of the kids employed here.  Nor did he look like the sort that frequented prestigious stables like this one.  He looked more like a well-kept hobo than anything.

“GET THIS BLOODY HORSE OFF ME!”  The man bellowed, catching sight of me standing like an idiot on the outside of the paddock.  

I snapped out of the daze I’d gone into and looked around wildly for the stable hand I’d stopped earlier.  “Where’s a lead rope!?”

I was answered only by a stream of curses from the man as Ferrari shook him like a ragdoll.  Then pounding footsteps heralded the arrival of the kid with a lead rope.  

Snatching it out of his hand, I jumped the fence and sprinted towards the grappling pair.  “Ferrari!”  I screamed, trying to get his attention on me and away from the unknown man.  “Ferrari!”  

But the stallion paid no attention to me and continued to grind his teeth into the shoulder of the man he had cornered.  

As Ferrari tightened his grip, the man swung at him, calling him a variety of colourful names as he tried to pull away from the stallion.  

I darted in, clipping the lead rope onto Ferrari’s halter.  Then I swatted his rump with the end of the rope to get his attention.  Instantly, Ferrari dropped the man and went after me. Jumping out of the way of his teeth, I waved my hands at the man now crumpled on the ground.

“Get out of the pasture!  Go!”  I yelled at him, dodging Ferrari again.  “He hates men!”  

The man didn’t move, and I began to worry about what it would mean if he was dead.  Probably more legal troubles than if he was injured, that was for sure.  Beckett was going to be absolutely thrilled.  

“Estel, I’ll take him!”  A feminine voice called, and I shot a quick glance over my shoulder towards the stable.  Chelsea—one of the most experienced horsewomen employed here—was jogging towards me.  

As she approached, Ferrari began to calm down.  Chelsea had a way with him that none of the other female employees had.  His ears were stilled pinned tightly back and he danced in place, but he wasn’t trying to bite me anymore.

“Hey, Ferrari…”  She cooed, taking the lead rope from me, and stroking his nose.  Ferrari snorted suspiciously.  “Come here, boy.  Let’s get you inside, huh?”  She pulled gently on the rope and led Ferrari away.

That left me with the unfortunate man who had found himself in Ferrari’s pasture.  As I ran over to him, he suddenly pushed himself up off the ground, clutching his shoulder and grimacing in pain.

“Sir, are you alright?”  I asked, dropping onto my knees beside him.  From a distance, he’d looked like one of the bums that littered the streets of New York, but up close was a different story.

He obviously had some concept of hygiene—he certainly smelled nice—and his beard was neatly trimmed.  And as he raised his head to look at me, he revealed startling blue eyes that pierced me with a distrusting gaze.  

“I’m fine.”  He spat in a voice that carried the thickness of an unfamiliar accent.  “Where am I?”

“Blacktop Stables in New York.  Now, I think I should take a look at your shoulder. Ferrari is a man-hater, and it looked like he had you good.”  I reached out to gently pull his hand away from his shoulder.

He let out a short laugh.  “Horses have never liked me.  You have healer training then?”  He asked, resisting my attempts to pull his hand away so I could look at Ferrari’s handiwork.

“If by healer training, you mean medical training, then yes, I know a little.”  He dropped his hand, revealing a slobber-soaked fur vest.  “Umm…  I think I’ll need you to remove your shirt…”  

He grunted, unbuckling the belt that held the vest closed before shrugging it off.  A dark blue, velvet looking coat followed directly after.  The movement of his arm caused him to grimace and let out a hiss of pain.  Beneath it was a metallic sort of shirt that looked like some sort of armor.  He pulled the armor shirt over his head, leaving him in only a blue shirt that reached almost to his knees.  

“Blast…”  He hissed through clenched teeth.  Gingerly, he lowered his injured arm back to his side.

By this point, I felt like I was watching the clothing version of a clown car.  I couldn’t help but wonder if he had another two shirts underneath this one.  

Unbuttoning what I guessed was called a ‘tunic’, his upper body was finally revealed.  And it made the artist in me want to weep tears of joy.

If ever there was a perfect body, he had to have it. Thick, muscled arms hung from broad shoulders.  There wasn’t a speck of fat on his torso to hide the chiseled abs this man possessed. And he was able to make it look like the most natural thing in the world, unlike some of those shirtless male models I had tried to use as inspiration in the past.  

“You said you have healer training?”  

The distinctly masculine voice broke me out of my…reverie.  Quickly, I focused my gaze on his face.  Away from the abs that I was itching to sketch.  

“Uh, yeah.  Let me take a look here…”  I peered at the bite mark on his shoulder.  Ferrari had left him deep indents of his teeth, but the skin hadn’t been broken.  Already I could see the purple bruising characteristic with horse bites forming in a wide circle around the bite marks.  His excessive layers of clothes had saved him from a much worse injury.

Not that he wouldn’t go through hell in the coming weeks.  Bites of this severity literally made you unable to move the arm without excruciating pain for weeks.  

“Will I live?”  The question was quiet, and I glanced up to see a whisper of a smile on his face.  Oddly, I got the sense that this wasn’t an unfamiliar question for him to ask.  

“I can almost guarantee you will,” I shot him a small smile.  “Just put some ice on it, take some ibuprofen, and try not to use that arm much for a few weeks.”

He frowned.  “Ibuprofen?  What is that?”

The fact that he was unaware of one of the most basic over-the-counter drugs was baffling.  Everybody knew what ibuprofen was!  

“It’s a medicine you can take if the bite hurts too much.  And from what I’ve heard, a bite like yours hurts like hell.”  I explained, leaning back on my heels.  “If you aren’t able to get any, I could give you some.”  

“No, I’ve had worse than a horse bite.”  He dismissed my offering.  “Now, you said we were in someplace called New York?  Is that on the Anduin?”

I stared at him.  “The Anduin?  I’ve never heard of that.  New York is a state in the United States.  East coast?”  

The look I got back told me he’d never heard of any of it.

This whole thing was weird.  First he showed up out of the blue in Ferrari’s pasture.  The same pasture that had seven-foot fencing supplemented with electric wire and was surrounded by private ground.  And somebody would have stopped him inside the stable.  

Second, there was the whole deal with his clothing.  It looked nothing like anything made today. That and he wore armor.  To be quite frank, it didn’t even look like it was from this world.

Third, he had never heard of the US before, and he was living in it.  

Or maybe I was turning into one of those off-the-grid hippies who believed in UFOs.  There had to be a logical explanation for all this.  It wasn’t like he actually had come from a different world.  That was preposterous.

He probably just hit his head or something when Ferrari was slinging him around.  I reasoned with myself.  He’s probably just a little confused right now.

Standing up, I motioned for the man to join me. “Follow me and I can get you a bandage for your shoulder…”  I paused, waiting for him to introduce himself.

“Thorin,” the man supplied with a nod of his head.  “At your service.”

“Estel, uh, at yours.”  I fumbled, hoping I hadn’t just entered into some deal with the man.  Turning around, I took one look at the stables and felt my heart stop beating in my chest.

Zach was standing at the gate of the paddock.

“Oh, no….”  I whispered, frozen in place.  I’d felt so sure that he’d had no idea that I worked here.  Beckett certainly didn’t advertise by using me.  “He followed me…”  

“Is something wrong?”  Thorin asked from behind me.  I looked back over my shoulder at him, taking in his broad frame. He had his clothes bundled up in his arms, hiding his torso from the world.  Dark brown hair sprawled across his shoulders, untamed by any sort of hair tie.

“Um,” I looked back over at Zach.  He was staring at Thorin; a small frown on his face as he took him in.  Automatically, I began formulating my “it’s not what you think” speech in my head.  I knew what it looked like.  A man and a woman out in a field, alone.

Except…That was exactly what would get him off my back. If I was a taken woman, he couldn’t come after me.  

“Thorin, I know this is asking a lot, given that we don’t know each other, but I really need you to pretend you’re my boyfriend. He,” I nodded over in Zach’s direction, “is my ex from a long time ago and he’s been stalking me, trying to get back together.  I just need you to pretend for like a day and then we can part ways.”  I pleaded, looking up into light blue eyes.  

Thorin stared back at me, then glanced up to look at Zach.  “You don’t want his attentions?”  He asked, and I nodded.

“Yeah, I just want him to leave me alone,” I sighed. The defeat I felt over my helplessness must have carried into my voice, because the iciness began to fade from his eyes.  

“You’ve told him this?”  His voice took on a gentler tone.

“I made it very clear, and he obviously didn’t listen.”

“Then I will pretend to be your…boyfriend.”  He agreed, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth.  Instantly, his tough, rough-hewn aura faded to be replaced with a sense of security. “He will not lay a finger on you, Miss Estel.”

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[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi steph! I've been a long time follower from another tumblr but i havent been on that account for months. that said, today after all my uni finals finally ended i decided to look this lovely page up, because you were/ still are a source of infinite comfort and johnlock fic recs that are just amazing <3 i missed you guys, and I'm glad to see you are doing this still, steph, it's so admirable and I hope you're doing well ❤️ i also write fics, and i randomly thought I'd search a tag of a fic of mine and i was hella surprised to see someone recommend it?? like?? WHAT???? the nonny was so adorable and like 🥺🥺🥺 it makes me feel things and i was surprised people receive it so well 🥺🥺 it's reichenbach falls, my gigantic superwholock fic, and I just want whoever reads it to know that i am alive, just was busy with a job and university, but!!!! i am still working on it! i am not ever abandoning it, i just need to gather up some strength for the next 200 chapters, because hoooo BOY will the story get even more exciting and probably well iver 1mil words :) so yeah, i got emotional today from the fact that you're still here, being lovely and helping (and hopefully you're good too) and from a cute nonny who took the time to read my giant project 🥺 the last 2 chapters of s1 are coming this month for sure, just as a teaser 🥺❤️ i love you guys!!!!!!!!

Hey Nonny!!

AHHHH This is such a beautiful message!! Sorry for taking so long to reply, I just wanted to make sure it got featured properly!! <3

Glad to see you return, and glad that your schooling went well!

AHH Vee!! Yes, a lot of people love your fic!! I get suggested it often for lots of tags, so yes, we're glad you're okay, and DON'T feel obligated to finish your story faster!! We all have personal lives!!

Thank you so much for the update on you, your life, and your fanfiction!! Have a FANTASTIC day!!!!!!

And if anyone wants to read the fic, it's this one:

Reichenbach Falls by VeeTheRee (M, 536,133+ w., 101/303 Ch. || WiP || Gravity Falls /  Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series

------

Enjoy!!!! <3 <3

[feelin-kinda-cocky-bmc]

FKC Update 6/5/23

It's been a while, so I wanted to post an update.

Long story short, production's been slow because the last few months of school were hell, especially finals. So between generally trying to do well in school and working part-time, I had been exhausted. But it's summer now, so hopefully I can take a good chunk out of the writing process.

It's only been about a week of summer vacation, which has been devoted exclusively to deep-cleaning my room and work. However, once my room is taken care of (which will be soon, within this week, if not the next few days), I'll start putting more focus on the development of Feelin' Kinda Cocky.

Anyway, so I'm still currently working on Dustin's route. I have most of Day 3 written out, and the rest is planned out in bullet points. I'm trying to find a balance between quality and quantity when it comes to writing the initial routes. This largely consists of me skipping over the more mundane parts of plot, or recently, just giving myself a simple guideline to adhere to. Examples here:

Daniel is Dustin's dad's name

These methods, along with worrying less about the gameplay aspect of making choices and worrying more about the story/stories I'm trying to tell, are my primary methods to finishing a rough draft as quickly as possible. As per my January update, I'm trying to get all the routes done as quickly as possible. This means that there will be countless typos, missing details, and inconsistencies. However, my train of thinking is along the lines of "Get a basic outline now, so you can have something to edit later." A lot of creators get sucked into the mentality that every keystroke has to be perfect, and I've definitely been there, done that.

So instead, I'm doing the opposite: making a really messy script to create more quickly. It seems a little counterproductive, and like an inefficient way to make a game. But hey, neurodivergency. We ball

Anyway, that's sort of my current mindset and progress. Additionally, I've made "moodboards" of every character and ship to sort of draw inspiration from. I won't share all of 'em, but here's sort of the basic idea!

None of the art is mine, same thing with the images. Most of this was just found by searching characters up on here and being like "oo I like that for inspiration." Any picrews I made myself, but again, not my art.

Yup, so that's my process right now.

Anyway, as always, thank you for following the development of FKC! AMA, my inbox is always open :)

[novaknightwritings]

Life and shit happening....

So, you would think me not posting for a while ment that shit had calmed down over here, and it kind of has and it kind of hasn't. Reading my last post the issue seemed to be that my boyfriends car wasn't fixed and that we where out of water. Honestly, not much has changed since that point. The car has been in and out of trying to get repaired but there have keep being issues that have been pinning down the issue hard, test not working right, him needing the car for about three days of the week to drive into and back from work. Also the place having a lot of other cars that need to be worked in because they can't just work in only his car. So there been a good deal of iratation about that in general because while borrowing my car while I am home for summer is doable, it starts to become an issue when I may have to be going into work myself. This isn't helped by the fact that he wants to save up to get a truck as the next thing that he ownes and there really isn't enought cash at the moment to make that work in a sane way. The other issue was the water problem. Seems like what happened was people where drawing to much in the well and it wasn't able to keep up with all of the useage. The answer to this was that another well had to be dig but because there is a lake group that deals with all these kind of choices the process was slowed down because they needed to have a vote in things. However, with people not getting back til after the 4th, and a required 10 notication of the meeting this had to be about two weeks after everyone had figure out the problem. Thankfully for everyone sanity everyone agreed that this was the needed shit to do so that people have water. Because this shit without it sucks hard. The well drilling guys has as of last night got his half of his gear into to place so hopefully that will be done soon, then after that there is some water testing and shit that need to be done but we should be off of the Limited Water use, that we have been under for about a month now. Like don't get me wrong, its been deal able but I would like to be able to cook luncheds without having to figure out how I can do this is the least amount of pans that I need to wash up with the bottled drinking water so that my BF don't freak out about how much washing the dishes uses in water. Other summer goals. Video games still remain with me having finished more games then I have bought, as I picked up Cult of the Lamb in the steam sale and have finished that one, Books are still behind but I think that more because I don't know what I want to listen to at this point. The other disworld books are a choice, thought due to one of the podcast I am also thinking a re reading of the percy jackson books may be in order. And as we know, I am still behind in writing in general, though this post will get me in track for this month at least, lets not talk about the back log of shit that I should have been writing. Well, I think I am going to wrap this up here and see that other small task that I can chip away from my daily list while most of the house hold is still sleeping.

[amaturewoodwork]

Here we go again. So I recently bought a car, small. Tiny even. I can fit two palletes in the boot when I lay the seats down.

Normally I grab 6 at a time, but eh.

Anyhow.

There's a tool I want to get. A plier. For nails. It's going to help immensely in taking palettes apart.

Not all of them are useful if you have a project bigger than 500unit lengths.

But if you scale down your design and cut accordingly you can make whatever. Currently, to take them apart I just use leverage. It's quick and easy if you pay attention to what you are doing and try not to break any pallets as you go. But a lot of them will break because of wear and tear. Anyway. Slow and steady in this case is the fastest.

Then you are left with nails. Quickest way to tackle the nails is to reverse them out. All you need is a hammer and a plier to straighten the nails.

Make sure you are not bending over for too long. Otherwise use an elevated workstation where you can work as upright as possible.

Cleaning the wood is kinda the best part. I use a grinder with a sanding attachment to quickly get rid of all the dead wood.

And because I wasn't paying attention, was tired and was working with short pieces of wood, bringing hands and tools in close proximity to one another.....anyway. i didn't die. Just scrapped some skin off using said sanding attachment.

Note: do not operate machinery when you are tired, in a hurry, or hungry.

Clamps and sawing straight is key to getting things square.

Over the span of three days i made a couple

I changed the design only slightly, but that is for another post.

These are Finna be strong. I need to interject with the last one that I made.

The one on the left has had direct summer heatwave sun for 3 months straight. I did not treat the wood in anyway and as you can see it dried out and the nails came loose

Also being in regular contact with water did not help. The one of the right was empty for most of the season. It won't be heavy enough to go through the same damage. Hopefully.

But anyway, I treated the new one properly this time

I had some pink primer left, burgundy stain and some oils. Watered them down with some spirits and applied as much as I could in the areas I see needs it most (okay, I tried).

I've gotten faster at making, more deliberate with the design, and accurate with the construction. Haven't used new wood in a while so this is still as straight I can be using pallete wood.

Not bad. I'm happy.

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

okay they’re gonna have to reset my computer and software issues aren’t under warranty and the guy can’t even find the problem so fuck it i’m fixing my computer myself.

solution number one: purchase an external WAN thingy to bypass the issue and hopefully be able to move on without actually repairing the problem

solution number two: do a hard reset myself. it can’t be that hard and if it doesn’t work then i’ll know the tech ppl were wrong

solution number three: somehow come across 16 hundred dollars and replace my computer with one that has an intel core (kinda what i want to do but so incredibly impractical and stupid)

i do not want to reset this computer setting it up was such a pain and i can’t see how there would be any issue with my windows key because the only problem was wifi

and i’m so used to working with tech that’s a bit broken it probably won’t bother me much. half the usb ports on my last computer just didn’t work, i didn’t have a headphone jack on my 2013 macbook for a year or so and its bluetooth didn’t work, the laptop i’m using now struggles with having more than one tab open at once (i usually have around 60), i’ve used all my available space on the school computers and adobe stops responding every time i save, the volume buttons on my phone only work sometimes, and even my harddrive just refuses to get ejected sometimes… my cd player can’t read cds anymore, the tone knobs on my guitar don’t work, and the lead for my amp is broken as well as the gain and the reverb knob, pretty much nothing i own works the way it’s supposed to but you learn to deal with it i guess…

also i’m on my fourth computer of my highschool era :/ (technically my second atm since the fourth is uh broken so i’ve returned to number 2)

computer no.1 was my dad’s old macbook that we got for free from his work, which was great thru years 9, 10, and 11, until one day jt just stopped. apparently the motherboard failed and it would cost around $500 to get it replaced, but i was getting an ipad for christmas like the next month so we just left it.

it turns out, ipads are fucking garbage if your school almost exclusively uses google docs and i had a bit of a breakdown in the middle of the year because of lots of reasons, so my parents got me the cheapest computer available.

computer no.2 was a lenovo. it sucked so much and could only really run chrome, but i needed adobe for design work, as well as video games n whatnot, so for a time i had a two computer system made up of my school computer, for school, and my mum’s old work dell that we got for free. it was old, and slow, but it had heaps of memory and i could game, use adobe, and it had a massive screen and keyboard, but the battery only lasted a few hours and i wasn’t supposed to take it to school cuz it was too heavy (that didn’t stop me)

so that’s computer no.3 and it was great. i used it for everything, including learning how to code and make video games which i really need for uni. like it is essential for university that i am able to access unity and unreal engine, and much of my social life was on minecraft so gaming was also pretty important. during the summer holidays, i got bored, as one does, and got out my macbook which according to the guy at the shop was 100% dead and would never work again unless we paid $500. anyway i charged it and it turned on sooo fuck that guy i guess. it was about 9 years old at this point but it ran the sims really well and i used to prefer the macbook keyboard so it was fine. the battery life was, umm, not long, but it worked which was cool.

pretty much as soon as my macbook started working again, my dell started going haywire. several hundred dollars worth of repairs later, nothing had changed, and i was screwed. my macbook was awesome, but also ancient, and had 7gb of storage, and the programs i needed were a touch more than that…

so when there was no hope left for my dell, i made a deal with my parents. as a graduation gift/christmas present/you’ll need this for uni for my brother, my parents got him a gaming computer. as such, i was to receive a gaming computer later that year (so this christmas) for uni. so my parents agreed to get me my christmas present early because i needed a good computer for school (i bargain a lot with presents, like my old thing was ‘if i get a job these holidays i’ll pay you back’, a new phone because the screen literally fell out of mine was a christmas/birthday combo (my brother’s new phone was just a christmas present tho) so this was not unexpected for either party) it took many months to actually get my hands on a new computer for long complicated reasons, and during that time, my mac shut down again.

however! at long last! i got a gaming computer! it’s an asus tuf gaming thingamajig and it was awesome! until the gpu went into extreme power saving mode and i had to quickly learn what a device manager was and also how to install drives and whatnot… i got the hang of it and for a few months, things were smooth sailing

then, mere weeks before my mock exams began, at a time when deadlines were drawing near and a good computer became essential, it stopped working… it no longer connected to the internet… and, it has left me with the predicament above…

my mac works again, though the battery lasts about a minute, but i’m back to the lenovo, which i am extremely grateful to have and while it’s a shit computer i did finish writing my book on it and it has served me very well… i’m incredibly lucky to get to access a computer at all, let alone be able to replace them, but also i think i’m fucking cursed

like yeah 2/4 of these computers were literally decommissioned and given to us for free, but the amount of shit that goes wrong with my tech is ridiculous!!

when my brother got his gaming computer nearly 4 years ago, he left it open outside in the rain!!! it got soaked!! AND IT WAS LITERALLY FINE!!! i have the newer version of his computer, and i dare to use it for its intended purpose and it craps out on me!??!?

the computer i’m using now literally doesn’t have a functioning cooling fan!! i don’t know if the fan is broken or if it just doesn’t have one but it never turns on

anyway i think i might be cursed… like newt